Feelings

Feelings of rejection,
Far worse than feelings of rejected,
It's your fault not others.


Past is still lingering, haunting,
Holding on,
Preventing from moving forward,
Heart aches, mind's sick, soul's tired,
There's no way around this.


Future is suppose to be bright,
But everything that passes are only darkness,
Dark pasts,
Just how do we overcome it?


Heart has been broken not once but times.
There is no fixing it,
When your heart is crying.
The only thing that you can do is to put on a smile,
Pretending that you are as happy as the outside image.



What people display on the outside is only a camouflage.

Entry #8: Sakit

Hati ini sakit sangat. Tiada sebab. Mungkin tiada sebab yang nyata. Cuma sebab yang tidak mampu untuk aku rungkai.

Mata...ini tidak mampu lagi menahan airmata yang kian mengalir tanpa henti. Cuma dapat mengalirkan kesedihan yang terlampau. Kesakitan yang tak dapat diubati.

Tangan....ini tidak mampu lagi untuk memekup muka menahan kesakitan dan airmata dari mengalir. Tidak mampu lagi untuk menahan sakit dan sebak di dada.

Suara...ini tidak mungkin dapat menipu dan mesamarkan keadaan sebenar. Tidak mampu untuk lontarkan rasa gembira yang palsu.

Jantung....ku tidak mungkin dapat berdetuk dengan lancar dan sempurna kerana secara metaforanya, jantungku kini juga menerima akibatnya. Sakit di dada. sakit di jantung.

Bernafas...kian tidak sempurna...kian tidak teratur...untuk menghembuskan walau sesaat pernafasan, bagaikan ada yang memekup di ruang pernafasanku. Pedih di dadaku.

Fikiran...kian tidak tenteram kerana terlalu memikirkan. Ya. Aku bodoh.

Kepala...kian sakit kerana memikirkan yang aku sekarang lapar lah.

Dan juga tidak lupa kepada....perut. Sakit doe. 

Ja ne. Nak pergi makan.

ps: yang atas atas tuh betul ok? yang pasal lapar tuh tetiba perut berkeroncong. so betul jugak lah kan.

Entry #7: An Advice

If you are not ready,

Don't,

Take a step further.

If you think you are,

Not good enough,

Don't take it to heart.

If only it affects you,

Alone,

Please do,

Take a chance.

But.

If you are involving some other's

Hearts,

Please.

Take a step back,

and see if you could be the best for them.

Because they deserve the best.

Entry #6: Confusion

Sometimes we are confused.

By the people who call themselves 'smart'.

Question !

What is the prove of that ?

Can you really prove that the information that you acquired,

Is frankly and 100% TRUE ?

Can you ?

By only using words from other people.

You are now calling yourself smart ?

Please do contemplate on this if you may.

Might really make you 'smart'.

You do want that.

Don't cha?

Entry #5:: Waiting

Waiting for your someone,

Just for that person to show up,

Preparing yourself,

Be the best for that person,

Is the most precious thing,

That you could ever do.

Wakarimasuka?

:)

Entry #4:: The Voice of Your Heart

Inspirational Words

The voice of your heart is nothing but the truth from yourself.

Be still and be patient in hearing what it have to say.

Not by forcing but simply by leading.

The voice of your heart is truly your best friend.

Why?

It will lead you to the things that you know.

You will Love.

Ai.

Have something to do with what happened to me recently.

Listen closely and you'll discover such mysterious things about yourself.

True!

#3 Entry: Today's Words

Inpirational Words

Got to wake up with a smile on your face.

Even if it is fake.

It will cheer people around you.

And, thus, spreads the happiness around.

So, SMILE..! :))

#2 Entry:: MOOD: Sad ):

): ): ): ): ): ): ): ): ): 

Sad. Sad. Sad. Just can't help it. My sister is at home right now. How I wish that I can be there so badly. Why did she have to come this week? And not to mention, why the date for the court trial has to be on this Tuesday? Why can't it be on the exact week I'm home? This time luck is not on my side. (too down I guess) I haven't seen Mimi for such a long time. And I heard she cries so hard. I felt like crying along but I told myself that I need to be strong, I'll see her in a couple of months. Shinpai nai yo. Right? Oh, yea. "CAMP" Why does it have to be this week also? I want to go home so damn much and they're having a camping trip this week? Like I'm gonna go. Duh. Can they be my family and heal this home sick? If they can, I'd be more willing to go on that "Camping Trip". Majorly. But, I need my mom and my family right now. Yes, I can handle it for a few weeks but still, the chance for me to go home is there. Of course I'll grab it. Mouchiron! Think I'm stupid enough not to take it? No way. But then, I'm still insecure by the threat that they would punish those students that decided not to go. I can't mess this up. This is not school. I almost got kicked out of school before and I still don't give a damn about it. LOL. XDD. But this place is different. I have to take responsibility for my actions. Anyways, hope things will turn out alright. Wish me luck and happiness. :)

Inspirational Words

Sometimes when you're hurt inside, you should just keep it to yourself.

Why?

Just so that you can learn to be strong.

#1 Entry: Can I?

I'm a bit sad today. Thinking about not going home for three weeks. Can I get through this? I've never been so far away from my family, let alone staying in another place without my family members. Hai. Hai. I'm such a 'baby'. I know. But still, it does not change the fact that I cannot stay away from my family for too long. I'll miss them TOO  much. Seriously. Sometimes I would think about whether can I really grow up thinking like this every day. I should have grow up, shouldn't I? But still, the childish feelings inside of me are still here, in my heart, in my soul. Looking at other people, I thought that maybe I am just such sucker. Too soft inside. But, I still have to try, don't I? By watching some inspirational dramas and movies, they might just lift my spirit up! Hai! Yoshu! Ikeze yo! 

Inspirational words

Never give up to become strong.

No matter how bad you fall, you have to get up on your own.

Isn't that what's life's about?